Friday, December 31, 2010


"Sam, my dad does not know I am talking to you. I am not sure how to approach this, but we think he needs help. However, he refuses any help. He says that he does not need any nanny to look after him." Nancy used the tissues on my table to dab the tears. "Dad loves to do things around the home. He does not need any help there.  But he is very lonely. He needs to go out more and he cannot drive"

It is rude to say I have heard this conversations several times from different family members over a period of time. Nancy was choking with emotions and the situation was very real for her. Always this  question comes up about how to convince your parent. Honest answer to that is that there is no standard response to it. We have to see each as a unique case and develop our response.

"Nancy, we do not provide nannies" I said.  There was a curious look on Nancy's face, like did I come to the wrong place? " Tell me more about your dad so that I can develop the best approach to help your dad". During our conversation we developed a game plan. Our caregiver will be introduced as a friend of Nancy's. She will come in and take dad out for walks, movies shopping etc. Nancy liked the idea immediately.

I have heard it too many times that in the west, people abandon their parents. NOT TRUE. What I have seen here is no different than what I have experienced in other parts of the world. The offspring here are as concerned here about their parents as they are  in other parts of the world. They hurt to see their parents suffer, many go to great lengths to keep their parents healthy in their own home.

Earlier this week I met with a son who was completely emotional when we spoke of his parents. They needed care and cash was tight. Yet the son was willing to go to any lengths to provide care. During our conversation we found out that his dad was a Korean War Veteran. I asked him if his dad is getting A&A benefits. The son was not aware of it. So we helped them start the processing for A&A. On the way out, I kissed his mom's hands. I could see she was crying and thanked me profusely for treating her so humanely.

Okay guys, this is the last blog from me for this year. I promise to write again only next year. Have a safe new year everyone and let us welcome 2011. Yeah, it is going to be a great year.

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